😠 How to annoy your wife

One of the unexpected pleasures of being married is learning all the ways to annoy your spouse (cónyuge).

I am told there are many ways I do this.

Today, I’m going to share one—related to English.

You see, sometimes when speaking to my wife, I like to throw in (meter/incluir) a bit of Cockney Rhyming Slang instead of speaking proper English (inglés bien hablado).

“What is Cockney Rhyming Slang!?” I hear you ask.

Well, you can click here to learn about its history, but long story short, it’s a way of speaking that developed in the mid-19th century in East London.

Rather than say the common word—let’s use “stairs”—we use a phrase of two or more words, the last of which rhymes with the original word.

So “stairs” becomes “apples and pears.” Pears - stairs, get it?

• Phone → Dog and bone

• Face → Boat race

• Suit → Whistle and flute

Then, to make things even trickier, Cockneys often omit the second rhyming word because it’s implied.

So instead of saying “I fell down the apples and pears,” they just say “I fell down the apples.”

You may not think this is useful English, but if you watch British films or TV series you will likely come across it (que te lo encuentres). Certainly, if you ever watch a Guy Ritchie film, you will.

So, saying “Let’s have a butchers” rather than “Let’s have a look” really irritates my wife, which makes it great fun. (Butcher’s hook - look).

I’ve put together a quiz to see if you can guess the meanings of some classic Cockney phrases. Hopefully, from now on you’ll start to recognise them.

Anyway, it’s my trouble’s birthday today, so I’m on my best behaviour—at least for now!” (Trouble and strife - wife).

Until next week.

This week’s three tips:

SOMETHING TO AVOID 🫣

SOMETHING TO SOUND CONFIDENT 🧐

SOMETHING TO WATCH 👀

NEXT STEP ➡️

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Keep learning,

The Crystal Clear English Team

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